Don't PANIC !!

Dear Friends,
Today, our governor has asked us to keep the Ativan in the medicine cabinets and "not to panic." With the conviction of Franklin Roosevelt, the determination of Harry Truman, the inspiration of JFK and the sincerity of that great economic President James Earl Carter, His Excellency has asked us to be calm in tumultuous times. "I know you are anxious. There is real cause for concern. But not for panic. My office and your government is [sic] (proper pronoun should be 'are') here to help and we will keep governing," said Patrick.

These words were so timely and indeed needed. I was worried that the Commonwealth government might actually fail, like the Egyptian throne with Cleopatra. But the rumors of the governor running for that bunker in Framingham are clearly false. Despite the terror surrounding us and the Barbarians at the gate, Our Beloved Leader (credit to my North Korean contact) has made it clear that He (hence forward, all pronouns giving reference to O.B.L. will be capitalized) will steer us through this crisis and inspire us to know in our hears and minds that we must NOT PANIC.

So, my message to you, my friends, is the same..............NOT TO PANIC. Put down your guns and bibles (not necessarily in that order), drop the inhibitions to riot and burn innocent property - or personages - and just hunker down and be calm.

God Bless Our Beloved Leader.